The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby vedicardi » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:10 pm

why do you still talk to him lol

-- Edit: Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:14 pm --

this thread should be archived in some sort of internet vault of comedy gold

-- Edit: Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:18 pm --

HOLY FUSK THE ALBUM COVERS JUST GET WORSE! HOW!?
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WHAT THE FUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-- Edit: Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:19 pm --

also he's releasing a best of album who the fusk told him that was a good idea
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Lysdestic » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:52 pm

Banned?

What a total sell-out move, man.
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Metallicaholic666 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:57 pm

vedicardi wrote:why do you still talk to him lol

also he's releasing a best of album who the fusk told him that was a good idea

It's more like him talking to me and I just say 'k' most of the time

also I did, do something about it.
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby RedShadow » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:20 pm

vedicardi wrote:HOLY FUSK THE ALBUM COVERS JUST GET WORSE! HOW!?
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WHAT THE FUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHY.html
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby thebocaj » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:24 pm

vedicardi wrote:HOLY FUSK THE ALBUM COVERS JUST GET WORSE! HOW!?
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WHAT THE FUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What the **** is that thing?!?
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Rapt0r » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:28 pm

Is his nose made out of penises?
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Metallicaholic666 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:03 pm

Rapt0r wrote:Is his nose made out of penises?

i think it's noses made out of more noses.
you really can't tell these days. it seems like everything is a penis now.


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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby thebocaj » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:39 pm

Metallicaholic666 wrote:
Rapt0r wrote:Is his nose made out of penises?

i think it's noses made out of more noses.
you really can't tell these days. it seems like everything is a penis now.


Hard to tell with that picture, especially seeing as it looks more like some insectoid alien than a human.
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Metallicaholic666 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:51 pm

his face is made out of his face, his nose is made out of his nose, eyes made out of eyes, and so on.
not that hard to see...


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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Rapt0r » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:03 am

Pretty sure penisl.
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby vedicardi » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:15 pm

I've seen a lot of penises in my day so
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby crazy.neo » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:39 pm

New album out. Is it time for a new review? Cause I think it's time for a new review.

estemshorn has been through some tough times. After his commercial failures, successive stretches in prison and his participation in "Celebrity Deal or No Deal", in which he picked the $.01 case, things haven't been looking up for this young rebel. "It's not easy being an artist", he once told me, "because people are jealous of my talent. They refuse to admit that I am brilliant and will convince themselves that the music I make is terrible, in order to avoid facing that reality. I am legend.". Maybe he was right, because after a recent confrontation with nwru, the iron-fisted manager of FOF Records, estemshorn has been banned once again from entering the studio. I have been told that the conflict involved a set of cooking pots, but details are still blurry. The fact is, estemshorn is now a free agent once again, and as such I expect his newest release "The Rice Menshorts EP", to be a return to his roots. I was wrong, as the new album takes a very solid and decisive turn to his more commercial eras, but it's all good, right? Right?

Wrong. The new album diverts from the complex musicality found in his previous works, and instead focuses more on lyrics and rap segments. Am I really expected to believe that estemshorn, 16 year old white teenager from the suburbs suddenly goes around with his "homies" in search of his "bling bling"? Is this just an attempt to capitalize on his stretch in prison? Anyway, here's a play by play:

1. "Richard Fitzwell"
The booklet claims this song was made with a Game Boy Color and a set of chopsticks. I find it hard to believe that estemshorn could make such terrific and complex sounds off of those raw materials, but anyway, this is a great opener, and it's vastly different from the rest of the album. The first 20 seconds are just a sample of blowing wind, when suddenly, as usual estemshorn fashion, we hear a head banging against a goat. estemshorn repeatedly screams "THAT'S MY MOTTO, MOTOROLA", at which point we can very faintly hear the intro to that russian song on Tetris. Clearly, estemshorn takes a stab against globalization, showing the constant conflict between nature (the goat), technology (Motorola) and animal (estemshorn himself). A beautiful song that should set the pace for the rest of the album, but does not. A shame, as this one is rather enjoyable. In the end, it is revealed that Richard Fitzwell is one of the guards he met at St. Quentin, and that they still keep in touch to this day, because of the sodomization charges.

2. "Beast Mode Activated"
It starts with a Volkswagen Beetle revving up, after which estemshorn fires his AK-47 into the air and claims he gonna get his swagga. Damn, he gangsta now. A short 10 second clip that sets the tone for the rest of the album.

3. "The Ballad of Cire Shenmorts"
I never pictured estemshorn as much of a lyricist, but in this one he shows his true talents. He tells us the story of Cire, his alter-ego, that plays a concert in Dubai, after which the promoter doesn't have enough funds to pay for his performance. He calls on his crew to "waste that m******* piece of s*** f**** c*** lips" but the promoter gives him a skull as payment, encrusted with several diamonds. The track abruptely ends...

4. "Imaginationland"
This track starts with the promoter explaining Cire that the skull belonged to an old Sultan, which beheaded his wife but felt so sorry afterwards that he opened the stomach of the alligator he fed her to, and rescued her skull, despite the disapproving screams of the wife, which had survived the chomping. It is said that whoever possesses the skull shall have much fame and fortune, but will never be able to produce real music, only pop-feel-goodery trash that appeals to 14 year-olds. Since we know that this is estemshorn's type anyway (being accused of 16 allegations of child molestation, despite he being a child himself), it's easy to assume that Cire took the skull.

5. "I'll be even finer"
In this track we change characters, and briefly return to estemshorn, no alter-ego, as he ponders what would life be as a bottle of wine. It ends with another one of estemshorn's typical inspiring quotes: "put a screw on it". He considers abandoning music, despite his seçf-proclaimed fame and fortune, and working as a sous-chef at a famous restaurant.

6. "Resurrection of the beast"
Apparently, this track is only a garbled mess of noise. Being hard to distinguish this mess from his usual songs, I contacted his label "Tree Stump Records" on search of an answer. After confirming the track is intended to be like that, and cryptically alluding to Aphex Twin, I passed the track through a steganograph and came across this:

Spoiler:Image


WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

7. "Goodbye is the best thing I could say to you"
A 25 second clip of a discussion between Cire and Big Carl, back from his previous work. Carl refuses to join Cire's crew, urging Cire to "stop this nonsense" and saying "estemshorn we all know it's you. I've turned my life around, why did you escape the mental institution?". He urges him to leave him alone.

8. "Dingus Poop"
Dingo ate my baby. I do not appreciate this sort of humor.

9. "Silence does not exist; There is only ambience"
Cire becomes a major hit worldwide and all underage girls love his "Celebration in the American States" song. He wonders about the pointlessness of being a hack and feels jealous of a rival artist, estemshorn, which he considers "immensely more talented and definitely not a hick/Despite certain rumors he doesn't have a small d*ck". As the song ends, Cire enters a restaurant.

10. "Rice-a-roni"
estemshorn works tirelessly as a sous-chef, and as the sommelier is sick, he must serve the wine that day. As someone orders a bottle of Red Port, he goes to the table and is confronted by Cire, which intends to cut his penis (is this what the album artwork alludes to?) and wear it as a toupée. The song ends with a clip of "There's Something About Mary".

11. "The Neverending Sunset"
The single off this new album, with Eminem, Dr. Dre and Fiddy Centavos. estemshorn can't be heard during the song. Massive hit so far in the charts, it's a ok song, too much on the radar for me, but you know how us hipsters are.

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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby RedShadow » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:04 pm

crazy.neo wrote:My Score: 7/10 Half-Eaten Kittens

It's over. Estemshorn is finished.
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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby Metallicaholic666 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 12:42 am

What drugs are you doing to come up with something like that?


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Re: The Instru-mentals Thread / NEW ALBUM OUT NOW

Postby aander91 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 12:48 am

Estemshorn's latest album, GOBLIN
COUNTERPOINT

1st Place-July 2010 Guitar Charting Competition
2nd Place-March 2010 Guitar Charting Competition
3rd Place-August 2009 Guitar Charting Competition
4th Place-December 2009 Guitar Charting Competition

Vidya Game Music arranged for String Ensemble

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